For someone who has a problematic relationship with food on an ordinary day, Thanksgiving can be challenging to say the least. I remember way too many Thanksgivings past when I was actually in pain from eating too much. I would just eat and eat until I wanted to pop. I remember actually crying myself to sleep one year because I was so full. It is typically joked about, right? "Gobble til you wobble". We are encouraged to indulge - after all, it's a holiday, right? 2,500 calories (average) in one meal. I ate every one of them with gluttonous ignorance.
With LEAP, I knew this day would be different for me. I usually work every Thanksgiving, so I didn't have to worry about tons of leftovers from cooking (and let's face it, I didn't have to worry about cooking, period.) While others were up to put their turkey in the oven this morning, I was up baking my haddock for lunch today (my husband woke up to the smell of fish cooking at 7am, and I am sure he thought it was some kind of bad turkey haha). Because if there is one thing (and there are MANY things, so this is a big 'if') I have learned on LEAP it's that you HAVE to plan and prepare or you WILL fail. So I prepared and I planned.
When I got home from work, I ran to my mom's house for dinner. And when I say that, I mean it literally. I ran two miles to my mom's house. Running to dinner on Thanksgiving? Yup, that's new. My own little turkey trot.
Waiting for me was the buffet of dreams: mashed potatoes, corn & broccoli casserole, sweet potatoes with marshmallows & brown sugar, sausage stuffing and chocolate mousse and pumpkin pie and cranberry mold. Oh, and turkey. Which was pretty much the only thing that was approved on the buffet - all the other things had my reactive ingredients in them. So, I sautéed some turkey in olive oil and it was so so delicious. I arranged some pretty orange slices around my plate and savored them as my "dessert." Here's the thing: I actually enjoyed this meal (and running with frozen veggies would have been just too weird for me or I would have brought my own to round out the meal). As I was eating, my mom and sister were making "awww" noises at me. Like, "aww, aren't you allowed to eat anything else?" and "awww, that's all you can have?" and "aww, can't you even TRY the corn & broccoli casserole, it's your favorite!"
They felt sorry for me. On diets past, I used to feel sorry for myself when I couldn't have what everyone else was having. Because I wanted it. But something or someone told me it was "bad" for me and would ruin my diet. Here's the breakthrough for me this Thanksgiving: I didn't want that other stuff. I was not nostalgic about it; I did not feel deprived or cheated from enjoying it; it simply did not appeal to me. Because I, too, have been "made new" and it has to do with my way of thinking about food.
On this program, I was made aware of the foods my body is reactive to. This was done through a special blood test (note: it's NOT the blood-type diet.) It's something I will explain in detail in another blog post. Suffice it to say that certain foods I was eating were causing inflammation in my body - inflammation that was the cause of fibromyalgia and eczema and migraines to name a few major players. So on this program I eliminate those foods and stick with my "green light" foods, until I can phase others in at 3 and 6 month intervals. The "green" foods include protein, grains, fruits, vegetables and seasonings - nothing is "off limits" except for the foods I am reactive to. The foods that hurt my body. So having turkey and oranges today was A-OK for me, because I knew what the alternative was and it just wasn't attractive to me. And guess what? I felt great after eating. Not stuffed. That is a first in all of my 36 Thanksgivings. (OK I have had more ~ I just don't remember the first few)
Thanksgiving for me this year was a chance to be full in other parts of my body. Full in my head, with the knowledge I have gained and put to use to heal myself (and lose 28 pounds along the way!). Full in my heart, with the love I have for my family and friends but also for me - by treating myself with love and kindness and doing what will make me feel good, not bad. Tonight, I will not cry myself to sleep over what I ate. Food is fuel for my body, and a way to give my body what it needs to be on its best behavior. I just feel good. And now that I have that feeling, I will not give it up for all the corn & broccoli casserole in the world. I may or may not be able to have it again. It doesn't matter. I just know that I don't feel sorry for myself, and I don't ever want to gobble til I wobble.
With the help of 2 very special women I have so much more to be thankful for this year. Emily, you are a blessing to me, and I am just so grateful for your guidance in the LEAP program. Thank you for being wonderful you - and showing me that this does work. I am living, breathing, happy proof. Jen, you made me dig deep and really see what was holding me back - thanks for helping me quit quitting. When I count my blessings, I count you guys twice (-:
Hoping that you all will be "full" in places other than your tummy - take time out to give thanks for those that fill YOUR hearts this Thanksgiving.
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