Yesterday was my Dad's birthday. He would have been 66. His birthday is always a reminder to me not to take anything for granted. When he passed, he was just 58 years old. That seems so young to me - in 10 years, my husband will be that age. I couldn't fathom losing him that soon.
After years pass, it is easy to "forget". Life starts to get in the way. Tempers flare and the preciousness of relationships are hard to remember. Things get said that cannot be unsaid. We forget. Oh, how we forget.
I quit smoking the day my Dad was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. That was a lesson I do not need to be reminded about; I will never smoke again. I am amazed that anyone who watched him go through his battle can ever light up again. But that's what the convenience amnesia can do to you. Sometimes, you remember. I will never smoke again. Sometimes, you forget. And need to be reminded. In a not-so-great way.
Recently, I started to venture out into uncharted territory concerning my diet. I have been feeling a little bold. Eating things with a few more ingredients in the list than I should. Testing things. Having convenience amnesia about what food did to me before I started LEAP.
Starbucks soy lattes wound up not causing a reaction. Until I started having one almost every day. Cue the bloating and the eczema back in full force.
A few pieces of dark chocolate are good for you, right? Right. True for most people anyway. Until a few pieces becomes a few pieces more. I forgot that sugar is NOT my friend. Cue the insomnia, bad mood, and fatigue. My son actually asked me "Did you have sugar or something?" because I got a little snappy with him. Ouch. That obvious, huh?
A few weeks ago, my mom made peanut butter eggs for Easter. My favorite. It hasn't been Easter since I started LEAP. I normally would have been like "no way" but me and my bold self decided to give one a try. Here's the thing: I didn't even LIKE the way it tasted. But I ate it, because I remember I used to like it. Only my fellow food addicts will "get" that. Anyway, it had some pretty bad consequences. I threw up. It was so uncomfortable and I realized that maybe I 'shocked' my system with all the non-friendly ingredients that were in it (have I mentioned that I had already proven peanut butter is no good for me?) Same thing happened the other day when I had a burger. 3 times now, I have tried for a plain burger when going out to eat. 3 times now, I have thrown up after eating said burger. You remember the definition of insanity right?
I am not sure what the heck I was thinking. Except that beef is an OK food for me, and maybe it was the method of cooking that wound up not being OK. But I know now that I am not going to order another burger when eating out. Lesson learned. Takes me a while but...lesson learned.
I do not want to forget the way I feel when I feel great. I also do not want to forget the way I feel when I feel bad. These are the REMINDERS I need! They're what YOU need if you are struggling with doing the right thing with food choices, too.
Eat like crap, feel like crap.
But how weird is it that we eat like crap again, just to prove that statement to ourselves? Maybe "weird" isn't the right word. Maybe "crazy" is. Because that's how I have been feeling lately. Just plain crazy for forgetting the most important lesson - that taking care of my body with good food choices has very, very good consequences. As my Dad used to say: "Hello, DUH!" Big time duh. I was doing so awesome. Now I am up 3 pounds, am feeling the fatigue, and had a migraine today for the first time in almost 8 months. Ugh. I was doing so awesome, and then I started to color outside the lines.
Don't get me wrong here - I have not fallen completely off the wagon. I am still a LEAP-er at heart and for life and am making good choices MOST of the time. I just need to be consistent, and REMEMBER the basics. I simply cannot have the life I had before, if I want to have the abundant life that's ahead of me. That's it. Those two things cannot coexist in my new world.
I have proven to myself - once again - that the choices I make when I put food in my body will have consequences. And I will pay for them. And I am grateful that God gives me reminders along the journey of life, so I won't forget the lessons I have learned. So that I won't take for granted anything or anyone that makes my life a better place to be. So that I remember.
The words we say have consequences. They can affect our relationships.
We should choose our words wisely.
The food we eat has consequences. It can make us sick, or it can help make us well.
We should make our choices wisely.
The choices we make have consequences. Choose to smoke and drink, and your health will suffer. Choose wisely.
Proverbs 15:32 says
"Those who disregard discipline despise themselves,
but the one who heeds correction gains understanding."
This is my new favorite verse. It sums up perfectly what I have felt and learned. I am heeding the correction and remembering. I am reminded of why I started LEAP in the first place. I remember why I stopped smoking. I remember why I stopped drinking. I remember why I stopped eating the food that was making me sick. And I will take one day at a time so that those precious reminders help me continue to make the good choices I need to continue on a healthy, happy journey.
SO I pretty much can say been there - done that - got the T-shirt :) Can you?
