Rules

I've learned a few things about rules while following LEAP.

First, some rules need to be followed and never broken. Do not eat reactive foods is pretty much a no-brainer. And once I started feeling good - like, good-good - I didn't want to eat that stuff anyway. It was kind of the first time in my "dieting" life that I didn't break a rule. And I put "dieting" in quotes because that's not really what I am doing, even though LEAP has helped me lose the excess weight I have been wanting to get rid of. I stuck by the rules, and it paid off in spades. Not just on the outside, either - my cholesterol went down 55 points. That is fifty-five for all of you who think I typo-ed that. FIFTY FIVE. As I say goodbye to 2012, this is one of my proudest accomplishments.

Another rule I had to follow was to track what I was eating. In the beginning, I wasn't eating enough - I wasn't planning my meals or making sure I had things with me for snackmergencies. When I finally did add up my meals, I realized some days I was eating less than 1,000 calories - no bueno! SO I made a conscious effort to make sure I was getting enough of what I needed - and then the magic started to happen.

I have also learned that there are LOTS of rules to break. So, I broke 'em. Here's a list of my bad-ass behavior and the rules I broke:

1. You can only have breakfast foods for breakfast. With a limited amount of items on my first phases, I had to think outside the (cereal) box. And eggs were one of my "yellow" foods so they were out (yellow has nothing to do with color, it is a "caution"moderately reactive food. Actually, thinking about the foods like a traffic light helped me a lot - green meant go, yellow meant slow down (for now) and red meant stop! I have recently begun to challenge some yellow foods, but that's another blog.) So it went for lunch & dinner too. I remember when my son was little - 5, maybe - and I was a single mom, out of money and low on food and it was close to paycheck time. We had cereal for dinner. His little 5-year old self looked at me in shock and exclaimed "We can't have CEREAL for dinner!" and I explained to him there weren't any 'rules' that said we couldn't. So we did and it felt fun and...naughty. Fast-forward 11 years and I was the one having oatmeal for dinner some nights, because it was good and on my plan and I was out of options. I would have oatmeal for lunch sometimes too (I know, I know, I am out of control). Cashews & cheddar cheese made a great lunch, and so did Udi's granola with almond milk. Never would have planned for that before.

This was my dinner the other night:

What is it? It's quinoa pasta, fried with a scrambled egg. In walnut oil. Now, a few months ago, I never would have thought to myself "Gee, I have a hankering for some quinoa pasta and an egg fried in walnut oil!" but then again, I had the world as my oyster, and I was in trouble from it. So, I have really become a whole new person with a whole new set of thoughts, and I have found a whole new healthier world because of LEAP. Have whatever you want, whenever you want - just stay on plan. (by the way, I can have eggs now- after 3 months I was able to "challenge" them and I did fine!)

2. Stay in your comfort zone to be successful. For this example of a perfectly broken rule, I shall use the pinto bean. Pintos were on my protein list for phase one, and I remember just ignoring them until I got kind of tired of my other choices, so I googled how to eat them. And the next time I made chicken I sautéed some pinto beans and onions with it and my world was changed forever. Like, for real. This is not drama. Pinto beans changed my world. My son actually requests them because he tried them and loved them. And I use them at least twice a week in my recipes because I am in love with this little bean. I would have never, ever tried pinto beans, EVER, were it not for LEAP. And it was an "uncomfortable" trial because I had no idea what I was in for. I am very adventurous by nature - I love to travel! - and LEAP brought that out in me in another dimension of my life. The food dimension. I have also become fond of apricots, dried plums (don't call them prunes now) and the spice cumin. I wanted to "bread" my meat in the worst way, so I threw my allowed spices in with some almond flour and "breaded" it. Heaven. (side note: don't flip meat too often, it tends to be crumblier than bread-breading) While choices are limited in the beginning phases, and you see things that are "new", give 'em a try! Even if you are not on LEAP and some of this language about phases and such doesn't make sense....getting out of your comfort zone is a healthy thing to do! Especially if your comfort zone involves highly processed foods and ice cream and cupcakes with gobs of icing. Because that's exactly what my comfort zone was, and I was sick from it. Not just sick in my belly because I ate too much crap, but sick on the inside with inflammation and bad feelings and low energy and fibromyalgia. The snacks I am finding now with LEAP friendly ingredients (see my Food for Thought post) are seriously as good - no, they are better - than the snacks I had before. Going to health food stores, and gourmet food shops, just to get food I can eat and feel happy about is new. And it's comfortable now :)

3. Give up all the things you love. This I was sure I would have to do. There was a tear in my frozen yogurt the night before I started LEAP. I mourned the loss of my beloved Disney Mickey bars on my next trip. But then, a few months into LEAP, I realized the food I thought I loved really didn't love me back. As a matter of fact, it hurt me (and love shouldn't hurt, y'all). And I found NEW things to love. Things that loved me back. Like the chocolate cookies I just made, and the potato chips with avocado oil and salt and nothing else. Yup, that's right, chocolate cookies and potato chips are part of my life now. they are just HEALTHY versions, and ones I can feel good about. I ain't givin' up nothin'.  I remember Jen telling me (when I told her I loved cupcakes) that there was "probably something else going on" and it wasn't really that I loved cupcakes. Yup, that was true. And I just ordered a new cupcake book on Amazon (you can find it here) to make myself some healthy cupcakes that won't make me feel bad.

4. You have to spend tons of money on healthy food.  At first, my grocery bill did go up. I had to buy a whole round of meals for me, and another round for my boys. But then, it evened out, and as I added things in, I was able to make things we could all eat. Like pork & sauerkraut. And when I made chicken, I left off the pepper and let them season it themselves on their plates. OK, so I confess we haven't had any "Quinoa pasta & eggs in walnut oil" family meals, but mostly we all eat the same thing. I haven't been able to convert them to my snacks - more for me, haha - but when I find something new at the store, I buy one, then if I love it, I go to Amazon and get a case of it. I just did that with Popcorner chips. 40 one-ounce bags coming to the doorstep of yours truly this week! And it's really not that expensive. I would much rather spend a few more dollars on healthy, wholesome food than shell out my $20 copay at the doctors every other week to figure out why I feel bad, or shell out my prescription money (did I mention I am off all my meds?) - you get the picture. And I am less inclined to go out to eat nowadays (when I make it myself I am sure of the ingredients - in spite of best efforts you just never know what you're gonna get!) so there's some savings. I actually eat LESS now. Because I am more satisfied with the food I am eating - no empty calories here! - and I do not graze all day, I eat less. So no, I am not spending "tons"more. A little more on ingredients maybe (like almond flour for my baking) but all in all, I am worth it, it is worth it.

5. It's all-you-can-eat since it's healthy for you.  Did you know that a cup of cashews has 832 calories? Um, yeah. So I eat a quarter cup. And since weight loss is totally calories in, calories out, you need to pay attention to that if weight loss is one of your goals.

So there you go, I'm a rule breaker and I have never been happier. As I say goodbye to this year - the one that helped me finally find myself under all that extra weight - I believe Jeremiah 29:11 is coming true for me - that my hope and a future is ahead.

As you ponder what your resolutions are for this new year, add the word "because" after them to give them real meaning and give yourself a reason to succeed! If weight loss is on your list (as it has been even single year for me!) then consider what you really need to do to make it happen. Commit.

And go ahead...break some rules.

Communication

Odd as though it may seem for someone who loves to write, I sometimes have a little trouble communicating. Not ever on how I FEEL but on what I NEED.

When I first started the LEAP program, I was kind of "quiet" about it. No "Facebook Official" announcement, even. I just wanted to concentrate on my mission (and to be honest, didn't want to announce something lest I should fail).

So, when time came for me to take my first trip, I packed up some food to take along with me. It was a work trip, and I was part of a committee that involved...taste testing (the irony was not lost on me, trust me). I had to check the FAA website to make sure pouches of tuna was allowed. They were. There wasn't actually a paragraph on tuna...but I figured it out. Anyway, the guy who sat next to me wasn't too happy but I stayed on plan.

On the way to the hotel, I asked the driver to stop at a local grocery store so I could get some of my LEAP friendly foods - some fruit & oatmeal. It was all very quiet until I walked into the hotel and the lady in charge of planning the meeting came up to me and cooed "Oh, you didn't tell me you had special needs! You should have let me know!" Apparently, my colleague who was sharing the car ride from the airport had let them know we would be arriving a little later, and shared what I was buying and why. Out of the goodness of his heart, I'm sure, but I was mortified when all eyes turned on me.

Special needs?

OMG, I wanted to die. I murmured something like "It's nothing special really" and brought my oatmeal, 2 oranges and 3 apples to my room, feeling kind of like a criminal. I didn't want to do drama and call attention to my...um...special needs. Now everyone would act like I had the plague or something.

Later that night at dinner I had to ask for a hamburger, plain, no seasonings...and trying to do that quietly in front of 10 people around one big table is tough. So a conversation started about LEAP and everyone seemed pretty fascinated by it. My lady-planner friend pressed me for details on what exactly I could eat and then hooked me up with the girl who was planning our meals, who passed my concerns to the chef, who prepared special meals for me over the next few days. Which totally helped me not starve stay on program. When it came time to taste test, I skipped over the items that I was reactive to and sampled the fresh fruit - no one really even noticed what I was eating.

The most important lesson from that trip is that by communicating what I needed (albeit by force) I got what I needed. What a novel thought! You mean, if I ask for what I want I get it? Neat!

I tested the waters once again when I went to Myrtle Beach for my first 1/2 marathon. I had a few speed bumps until I found my voice -the one that said "I am paying for this I should have it how I want it" voice. (and by the way those exact words were on the inside...the outside came out sounding much more polite!) If you are ever there, go to the Landshark Bar & Grill on the ocean - this is the 1st time a chef came out and took my order and then came back to see how everything was. I was so impressed.

My trip to Disney really drove that home. They totally catered to my "special needs" and didn't make me feel like a nuisance because of it. I am one of those people that doesn't want to "put people out" - ya know, make them do something special just for me. Because I am a people pleaser and that isn't too much of a people pleasing thing to do. But I learned that if I am going to be successful on LEAP I have to say what I can and cannot have so I get what I can have. And my trip was wildly successful and I didn't feel like a nuisance - I felt important. The "valued customer" kind of important. And that was empowering. I found my voice!

More and more places are realizing that Guests have special dietary needs and they are catering to those needs in the hopes of having happy customers. But you have to let them know. And you have to be committed enough to the program to not let eating out be a stressful thing.  I have learned to communicate my needs better so that I can enjoy a meal away from home.  Here are a few LEAP rules on eating out or going on vacation:

** Specify right away that you have special dietary needs. I have even called ahead and asked if certain things were prepared a certain way (is your meat marinated or injected? Is it possible to get my steak without butter? Those kind of questions). The really good restaurants will have the chef come to the table and discuss your meal. If they don't, ASK for the chef to come out! Too may things have gotten lost in translation by the time the server leaves the table to relay the message. Cut out the middle man!
**If you are shy, get un-shy. You need to find your voice - the one that says "I am important not only because I am a paying customer, but because I am taking care of myself and deserve to eat out too!" You many need to repeat this on the way to the restaurant several times - fake it til you feel it!
** You may have to use the "A" word for the establishments that do not understand what food sensitivities are. I have used it and do not think of it as lying. I think of it as a way to drive home that I cannot have certain things. "I'm allergic to pepper, can you please make sure that is not used in my meal?" Semantics, people. Semantics. Go ahead and whip out the A word when you feel it's necessary. No need to split hairs, you just want to make sure your meal is done right and oh yeah, you are paying for it, remember? Get what you want! You're not breaking any law!
**Have something with you just in case! This is a must! See my "food for thought" post for ideas! I brought a baked potato (the kind that is pre-wrapped and ready to nuke) with me and had them microwave it at the restaurant to eat with my plain chicken breast. This is no joke. I also brought my own "dessert" - an orange does the trick. You will not get in trouble for eating an orange at the table even if you didn't buy it there. Think about it - what the heck could they do to you anyway? I learned that I can't be embarrassed by taking care of myself. It actually sparked some fun conversations about LEAP.
** Think of what you might need to "go with" what they have. For me, I was concerned about breakfast (reactive to eggs, so I stuck to oatmeal on the trip) Most places serve plain oatmeal. But most places might not have the toppings you need for your cereal. I carried around a container of coconut sugar, and some "Plum-azings" to top off my oatmeal. Don't mind those stares - they're just jealous you thought ahead (: and who knows, a spontaneous episode of "Let's Make a Deal" might break out and your purse will be, like, SO totally prepared for those oddball questions of what's in your purse. That's the game I play in my head so I don't seem weird to myself. Go with what works for you! 
**Savor the moment of eating out and eating healthy! I was thrilled when I realized "normal" life didn't stop for me just because I am on LEAP. I can do the things I did before; I just do them a little differently now.
** Make sure your dining companions know that you will be ordering a little differently - and that might make the food take a little longer to come out. Make sure they know not to try and entice you to eat something off plan (if they are good friends they will not do that). I like to joke with the server that I am going to be a "little bit of drama" and then I ask for the chef. It's OK - they want a good tip and will make sure you are happy.
**MOST IMPORTANT! Do not let the menu scare you. I was starting to get scared at the Landshark in Myrtle Beach until the chef let me know he could make me something...um...special. A plain, unseasoned burger with a side of sliced pineapple and avocado was not on the menu, but it's what I got. 9.9 times out of 10 they have food "back there" that can be put together to meet your needs - you just have to communicate a little to make it happen.

Communication is the key to any good relationship, right? So use it in the relationship with YOU. Make sure you are finding your voice when you need to get what you need to stay on program! I don't think twice about it now. I just matter-of-factly tell them what I can have and they make it for me. It's a beautiful thing. Don't be afraid to speak up!

Food for thought

Thought I would do a post JUST on the LEAP friendly foods and snacks I have found after hours of reading labels over the past few months. In addition to Emily's Pinterest boards (where there are tons of ideas depending on what your non reactive foods are) there are LOTS of good things out there to help you feel "normal" (a relative term) - you just have to "dig" a little! It's not just for anyone on LEAP either - anyone wanting to eat "cleaner" can benefit! I've had a lot of people ask me "What do you EAT?" and here are some of the things that have made life more enjoyable as I have adjusted to my new lifestyle! It is so important to have healthy, portable snacks when I need them and these have totally made life easier. I know now that you do not have to sacrifice flavor when you give up the things you thought you loved. You just need to find better alternatives to the "bad" stuff.

Detoxinista has a great collection of recipes that just happened to fit my needs. The Almond Butter Fudge and Double Chocolate Cookies proved that I didn't have to give up "sweets" forever - I just had to make healthier ones! Eureka!
http://detoxinista.com/

Matt's Munchies were one of my GOLD MINE finds - yummy little squares of fruit with coconut topping - feels like candy! Island Mango are my favorite new sweet treat!
http://www.chefrobertsdirect.com/

I adore cereal. But there are so many ingredients in the "normal" boxes that I thought i was doomed from having a sweet, crunchy alternative. Then I found Oats. Best. Stuff. Ever. And I can pronounce all the ingredients. Coconut is my Fave!

Tell me if you can find popcorn with 3 ingredients. I double dog dare ya! This stuff  from Popcorn Indiana is such a wonderful treat while watching a movie, and I need to buy extra bags because my guys love it too.

I stumbled upon Stretch Island Fruit snacks when I was looking for "all natural" energy for my first 1/2 marathon - these healthy versions of "fruit leather" have become a staple in my purse for snackmergencies. I order them by the case from Amazon! I rotate flavors for variety (-:
Stretch Island on Amazon

This recipe for Chocolate Avocado Mousse saved my life. OK OK that is a little dramatic - but it felt like a decadent treat when I needed it. I subbed honey for the agave until I could challenge that - and it is great both ways.

Totally digging these Cocoroons - the brownies are my favorite - just one takes care of that sweet tooth! Even thought they are not what most would call typically "sweet", once your taste buds have adjusted they taste like candy.

Most potato chips are LOADED with yucky ingredients - but these ones from Good Health are just chips, oil & salt and they are TOTALLY DELICIOUS. So delicious, my son is addicted and I need to buy more than one bag at once. Thanks Emily for this great tip!

Speaking of chips, have you ever heard of Plentils? I found them by accident in the organic section of my local supermarket. It's just nice to have something to CRUNCH on! I do not question how they turn lentils into chips. I eat and enjoy them and that ignorance truly is bliss.

Popcorners are another amazing crunchy find - I love modern technology. Technology that turns popcorn into triangle-y chips of goodness. Major yum factor!

I thought cereal was a thing of my past until I found Udi's - and now I am in love. It is great with my almond milk and so much better than all those sugar-laden cereals! Try it - the vanilla/almond is my favorite. The natural/honey is great too, sometimes I do 1/4 cup of each if I am feeling really wild & crazy (-:

These snack bars by Coconut Secret are a recent find. I have tried the almond coconut one and found it to be very decadent - had to eat it off a plate because the chocolate melted fast but I really liked it. Not sure if I could eat more than one a week though! But what a nice treat!

I found this coconut sugar and was happy to have something to put in my coffee to sweeten it up! I also sprinkle it on my oatmeal. Haven't tried baking with it but that's coming soon.

Believe it or not a lot of the above things I found at Marshalls/TJ Maxx/HomeGoods! Their food section has an awesome selection of healthy, unusual treats! I am still in "discovery" mode. Grocery shopping takes me a little longer, because of all the reading I do - but it's worth the time to make sure I am staying on program.

Those are just some of the things I have found during my LEAP adventure. I look back on me at the beginning of all of this, when I was terrified of starting LEAP because of what I would have to give up. All the "fun" food I would be missing out on. Now, I have 'fun' experiencing the REAL tastes of REAL food and knowing that when I eat the foods that help my body, I feel great. I don't "miss" anything because there's nothing to miss- I have a whole new inventory of snacks to choose from and I am finding more things all the time!

Keep an eye out for hidden ingredients - once I find one I put down whatever I am looking at and move on. It's not worth it to me. I remember what I felt like when I ate "that stuff" and I am not willing to feel that way again. I am following Emily's rule of "If it's real, you can eat it" and realizing how many things out there are NOT even real! Scary stuff!

Hoping these things help you realize that you have options when it comes to snacks, and you do not have to "settle" for anything less than YUMMY when you are trying to change the way you eat for the better.

Much Love
Diana

Denial

Denial. 

The "no I don't" and "no I'm not" of our lives. 

I recently had an awakening that, in hindsight, let me know I was in denial for a while. In a good way. 

So we have established that I have lost 30 pounds. I know I have, because the scale says so. It's a "undeniable" measure of my body's gravity. But that's pretty much all it does. I used to let it measure a lot more - my self confidence, my worth, my lovability...but I wised up and figured that it's just a number. And lest I make that sound flippant, it took me about 30 years to realize that. I'm the girl who packed her scale in her suitcase when she went on vacation, as recently as 3 years ago. This whole "it's just a number" thing is very, very new to me. 5 months ago new, to be exact. 

Anyway, while I was on LEAP I made a commitment to concentrate on how I felt, not on what the scale said.I would "check in" with it occasionally, but not on any pre-set schedule. Just an "oh, wow, I feel great AND I am down 2 pounds this week!" kinda thing. 

So, when you're not obsessing on that number, you are free to concentrate on other things. Like how you feel and how your body responds to you. What happened to me, though, is that while my body was changing, it took my mind some time to catch up. 

I remember reading about Valerie Bertinelli after she did that popular (and well televised) weight loss program. In an interview shortly after she reached her goal weight, she said that when she went to a store she instinctively took a size Large off the rack, but when she tried it on it was way too big. So then she got a medium. And that was too big, too. So she finally realized she was a small, but she still didn't quite "believe" it. 

I remember thinking how silly that seemed at the time. But it wasn't so silly when I realized that "I" was in denial about what size I was in. For those of you who know me this may seem weird. But for the past 4 years or so, I was used to the double-digits size (ones that rhymed with shmelve or shmourteen) and I continued to wear them as I lost weight. They felt loose which let me know I was losing weight and I kind of liked that feeling. Of loose clothing. That was new. Again. 

Anyway, I was wondering why more people weren't commenting on my weight loss. The scale was telling me 10, 15, 20 pounds down, but not many people seemed to notice. And thank heavens I had gotten some "emotional eating" counseling or else I would have emotionally eaten over that. But my insides were changing too. This time I was in it to win it and didn't rely too heavily on the outside praise. My best friend commented the other day that I had been "so quiet" about my weight loss and "all of a sudden" I was down 30 pounds. (if you're on  my Facebook you know I wasn't quiet for too long and had to post a picture of this milestone) I guess I was "quiet" because this time it was for ME. And that was also new. 

I had always had a deadline for losing weight. My birthday. My wedding. A friend's wedding. My birthday (it repeats because this cycle went on for years). This time there was no deadline. The time was passing and I wanted me to be healthy as it passed. I truly believe that that "letting go" was what contributed to my success on LEAP. Besides, I was not treating this as a "diet" - this was a way for me to heal my immune system, basically, and the weight loss would be a bonus. THAT mind set was a sincere blessing. 

So one day I was getting ready for work, and all of my pants were dirty. I kind of looked through my closet and skipped past the smaller sizes that I had bought when I was bigger in preparation for losing weight (got that?) and didn't even give it a second thought. I had done this for weeks, mind you - flipped right past those sizes because I was not going to try something on and have it be too small. Because that would be discouraging. And I would have cried. I am still convinced that fitting rooms in department stores should have built-in tissue boxes. There were many times I needed them in that fitting room! Two mirrors and no tissues? Clearly a man's design. 

Ahem, excuse me, I digress. 

So, on this day, with all of my clothes in the wash, I decided to pull out the smaller size pants and give 'em a try. I figured if they were too tight I would just wear a long jacket over them or something. 

They fit. They not only fit...they were loose. I LOL'ed in my bedroom. Because for about ten minutes I was in a size 10 (actually it was more like 4 days. I am trying to emphasize the quickness). And I didn't even have time to enjoy it. 

While I was earnestly working away on healing my body and getting myself to a healthy state, my mind was still stuck in size shmelve mode. I just couldn't fathom that I deserved to be a smaller size. Get me? I spent so many years in that size that I sincerely didn't think I could be smaller, even though the mathematical proof stared back at me. Now, a number is just a number, but to us girls it's still important. I wore my size 10's for a few minutes (days) and wound up buying myself two pairs of size 8 pants yesterday. And yes, I checked the INSIDE tag of the pants in the dressing room with no tissues (I could have used them for the happy tears yesterday, thank you very much) just in case the outside tag was wrong, because my mind is in semi-denial still. 

I am sure the reason no one noticed my weight loss, initially, is because I was wearing my too-big clothing while my "big" mind worked out accepting the fact that I could let that size go. That's why it feels "all of a sudden" to me. And I am working through that - it's not a bad thing, just a big thing. Pun intended, I guess. 

My denial stopped me from enjoying life. Kind of like my denial about me needing help with what I consider now to be a food addiction did. Kind of like my denial about ME and  my size being the reason I was unlovable did. And so on. 

I was Cleopatra...Queen of (wait for it...) Denial. And I will most likely always have some sort of denial in my life...don't we all? Some we can laugh at (like my chuckle at my size denial, which came after years of obsessing about size. Oh, the irony) but ALL of it we can learn from. 

Are you in denial about something that is holding you back from being healthy? I remember being in POINTS denial on Weight Watchers. "That's not 8 points it's 5" kind of denial. I was in denial over the fact I could "just have 2 drinks" and be OK too. (sober 9 years now). I was only hurting myself. Finding out I was reactive to foods I loved? HUGE opportunity for denial there. But being honest - with myself- is what ultimately allowed me to heal. 

LEAP is a great vehicle for healing from so many physical ailments. It also helped heal my mind. And I happened to have some great support to get me through it. But you also need to realize that "denial" can creep in, and you have to look it square in the eye and face off with it - see it for what it really us - in order to conquer it. 

John 8:32 says "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." 

I know my truth now...and love being "free" from the old me, who put an "im" in front of "possible" every time. Praying that your truth will be revealed! 

My "LEAP" of Faith

Some of you may have heard me mention the "LEAP" program. It's the program I have been following with the help of my nutritionist Emily (does it sound snobby to say I have a nutritionist?) who has quite frankly been my angel on Earth.

For those who followed my last blog, you know of the struggle I have had with losing weight. My heart was 100% in it, and I truly did try my best, but wound up frustrated more often than not. 

I have tried so many different diets over the years. Atkins, Weight Watchers, Cabbage Soup, Slim Fast....all with some kind of results, but none of them lasting. It was a lesson in frustration. I am the typical yo-yo dieter "they" always talk about. 

Lest I sound vain, it wasn't just about losing weight. I wanted to feel better from the inside out. And although I admire women who can say they embrace their curves (and I vow to stay curvy, y'all) I just couldn't handle the extra 50 pounds I put on over the years. My body hurt, it was harder to run, I was a huffin' and a puffin' and just tired all the time. 

Who would have thought that even when I was eating "healthy" according to the textbooks that I was actually hurting myself? It's a bizarre concept to grasp, but that is the science behind the LEAP program. 

Basically, the principle is that certain foods can cause a person's immune system to react and produce inflammation in the body...and every person has different reactions to different foods- so this is not a one-size-fits-all program. They determine your reactive foods with a blood test. Your blood is tested against 150 different foods & chemicals and if your blood volume increases when they introduce the food antigen to it, it's an indicator that your body produces inflammation from that food. 

Those are layman's terms...get the full scoop here 

http://emilyfonnesbeck.com/leap/

My testimonial is on her site, as well as a link to the detailed program and how it all works! 

So...when Emily first told me about LEAP, it was in response to my symptoms of fibromyalgia, migraines, GERD, IBS and eczema to name a few. I was always convinced that my fibro was related to inflammation but no one could seem to help me with that. My best advice was to drink tart cherry juice. Which is good advice BTW - it just wasn't ENOUGH advice. 

So the night before I started LEAP I had a moment (also known as a panic attack) - was this goodbye to all the food I loved? That day I had a Sweet Frog frozen yogurt, and I was practically writing a country song in my head about it as I ate it: "Goodbye, sweet frozen yogurt, you were the sweetest thing I ever done tasted..." 

Yeah. It was that bad. 

So me and my pity, party of one decided to bombard Emily. Will I ever get to eat frozen yogurt again? What about my trip to Disney in November? The following week would be a trip to Nashville, should I just wait to start until I got home? 

Bless her heart, she answered all my questions and challenged me; that if I truly, truly did not want to give up those foods that were bad for me, then maybe LEAP was not the right program for me. Because the people who had the best success were those who went "all in." And did not stray from the program. Ever. And no, I could not use my sweetened cranberries in my oatmeal because they had sugar and I was reactive to sugar. She is great at tough love that isn't so tough. (-: 

At this point, I was frustrated enough to not worry about whether I was going to have frozen yogurt ever again. I took my LEAP of faith and went all-in. I figured I tried crazier things (like a pound of bacon for breakfast on Atkins!) and it certainly couldn't HURT me. 

My test results shocked me a little. My "red" foods (high reactive) were just 4 things - cow's milk, wheat, black pepper & benzoic acid (which I found out is in pretty much every pre-packaged thing) 

Wheat and milk? Um, I ate those every day. Which actually makes perfect sense as to why I was feeling bad all the time. Perfect sense. 

On my yellow list? A couple of favorites: Garlic, bananas, lettuce (!!), spinach, salmon and...sugar. Alrighty then. I always suspected there was something about sugar. There were 28 foods total on my "moderately reactive" list. A lot of stuff I really loved. However, there were also plenty of yummy things on my "green" (non-reactive) list. Oatmeal. Almonds. Chicken. Blueberries. Honey. Pinto Beans. All good stuff. I could deal with that. 

I quickly learned how important it was to read labels. My reactive ingredients were hiding everywhere. I literally have never eaten so clean in my life. It was a challenge but I was up to it - because I was just sick and tired of being...sick and tired. At first it was hard to get enough calories in. I wasn't eating enough and had headaches. I also learned that I needed to plan. Every meal. And take stuff with me everywhere I went. For moments I call snackmergencies. A piece of fresh fruit, some natural snacks I found online (thank you Stretch Island Fruit! thank you Matt's Munchies!) 

Three days later I was so miserable I wanted to die, or at least eat a cupcake. But I wasn't giving up because I read that happens to a lot of people. Day 5 I realized my headaches were gone and so were my cravings. Then by Day 9 something semi-miraculous happened. The eczema on my thumb healed - after a year of going to the dermatologist, and 3 different steroid creams, the digit just up and healed. And not by coincidence, either. I was convinced that by eliminating my reactive foods my body was actually healing itself from the inside-out and I had gosh-darn proof of it. My dermatologist agreed that the diet was what cured my thumb. Awesomeness. 

The program works in stages, and you get to phase in foods over time. Since I hit my 3-month mark, I was able to "challenge" some yellow foods. Yesterday, I had an egg. Talk about not knowing what you have until it's gone. Best damn egg I ever done had (yes, I sang a little country diddy to the egg in my head as I ate it). There may be foods I challenge that will give me a reaction; mushrooms & pistachios have done that (I felt bloated and just "off" after I ate them). It's a giant learning process. But I am all in. 

The weight loss, at this point, is a bonus. I did lose 11 pounds before I started. I am down 30 pounds altogether (19 of it from LEAP in a little over 3 months) and feel the best I have felt in...ever. 

OK. So is this program for everyone? Nope. If you feel awesome all the time and just have some weight to lose, probably not for you, unless you are curious to what foods would make you feel even awesomer. But if you have any of the ailments Emily lists on her website, then absolutely, LEAP can help. I want to shout it from the rooftops that there IS something you can do about how you are feeling. I am living, breathing proof. And you already read how Disney worked out for me. I am not giving up this feeling for any "thing" in the world. It's also not the cheapest program - but to me, an investment in myself was worth it. And there's no price tag in feeling great. 

People ask me what "diet" I am on when they notice I have lost weight. Hmmm...that's hard to explain. No one really knows what LEAP is - I didn't until I did, and that's why I am blogging about it. Because even though I absolutely, positively love my doctors, I feel they are there to treat symptoms more than underlying causes. I was put on Miralax for almost 3 years. Nexium for almost 7. When I first started noticing my fibromyalgia (which is pretty much impossible to diagnose with a test) I was put on anti-anxiety meds, because there was no explanation for why I was in pain so it had to be all in my head. My fibromyalgia is gone now. Like, gone-gone. I am overjoyed.  

Looking back over the last 3 months, I am just so glad that I didn't give up on me. I was never satisfied with feeling less than great. I kept trying to find another way, and being led to Emily was a Godsend. I couldn't just "accept" how I felt as "oh well, this my lot in life." Nope. I kept going. And so should you:   

Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8)

Be diligent in finding what's right for YOU. My door was opened, and I am thanking God every day that the abundant life I have talked about and sought after is now mine. 

For me, I lost the first 11 pounds pretty easily (because starting at 189, my body was able to shed that extra weight with counting calories) But then I got "stuck" - while friends passed me on the weight loss highway, and the scale didn't budge no matter how often I ran or how I watched my calories. The math just didn't add up. So when I started LEAP and lost 6 pounds in the first 10 days (which is a lot) Emily said it was my body "letting go" of the inflammation and that many people find that it's hard to lose weight until they do LEAP. And slowly but surely, I saw - and more importantly, I felt - results. 

Today, I hit the 30-pound mark. 159. I haven't seen a 5 in over 4 years. My wedding bands fit me again. People are noticing that I have shrunk. But most important, I am HAPPY. Please note, this is because of the way I FEEL. And I am not as irritable - my family can testify that I do not lose my temper as often or get bothered by "little things" anymore. I can get out of bed when the alarm goes off and I cannot sleep until noon on my days off. I am pain-free on a regular basis and I recovered from my first half marathon in record time. LEAP changed, and quite possible saved, my life. 

I will be a LEAPer for life. I encourage you to seek help if you feel the way I felt or if you are just "stuck" in a rut and there's no medical explanation for why you are not losing weight (you will have to be honest about whether or not you are really counting those donuts. I'm talking medical reason). Emily works with people long distance and her support has truly been the secret to my success. She is awesomer than awesome and the reason I feel the way I do - I'll forever be grateful for the path she put me on. Email her to get started - she'll even send you a form for your insurance, which may cover some of the costs! emily@emilyfonnesbeck.com 

I get nothing for talking about this or recommending Emily, by the way. There's nothing for me to "get", anyway, except for knowing that I can help someone feel the way I am feeling now - and at this season of giving, there's no greater gift you can give YOURSELF than feeling great! 

Take your LEAP of faith -whatever that might be for you! - it's so worth it! 

My Happy Place

This is an actual picture I took last week in my "happy place" - some call it the Happiest Place on Earth. It was a truly magical trip with some precious friends and we had a fabulous time. I didn't want it to end!

So it may sound strange to let you know that a few months ago I was terrified to go. I have been there several times and always enjoyed myself, but this time would be different.

This time, I was following LEAP.

When I first decided to take my LEAP of faith in September, I almost decided to wait until after this trip. Because I was getting sad just thinking about the food I would have to give up. For me, part of the "magic" of Disney was the great food - and when I booked the trip almost a year ago, I booked it with the Deluxe Dining Plan (I can almost hear the collective sigh from those of you who know what that is.) Basically, you get an appetizer, entree and dessert at every meal. Like, even at lunch. We were going to all the "awesome" restaurants. And there would be lots & lots of food. Food that I couldn't eat. Food that I would have to watch my friends eat. And that made me sad.

I remember expressing my fears to my nutritionist Emily. She told me we would cross that bridge when we came to it. In the back of my mind, I was thinking I would just go off the program for that week and go back on it when I came home. Because that is how my mind worked three months ago.

Once the trip got close, I was no longer terrified. Not only that, but I was no longer hearing a voice in the back of my mind to go off and on program. Because I knew, after almost 3 months of feeling the best I have felt in my life, that there was NO WAY I would give it up for any food, magic pixie dust be damned.

So, I did a few things to make sure I would have no (or at least less) drama when ordering. I contacted the special diet hotline and explained I had food sensitivities. They said they would note my reservations. I stocked up on snacks: put 1/4 cup of cashews in snacks bags, ordered some fruit snacks with my approved ingredients, and made sure I had ENOUGH of them to last me the week. I even packed a container of Quaker oats and a glass bowl to make oatmeal (TSA must have had a good laugh at that) and told my traveling companions in advance that I would be eating only what I was allowed to eat, and that I was perfectly OK with it and not to feel sorry for me.

I said it before and I will say it again - on LEAP, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. That's my numero uno LEAP quote! (real credit goes to Ben Franklin - he said it first) 

Here's the awesome thing: I had SUCH an amazing time. Like, best trip everrrr. And it occurred to me that the food was not the fun. The fun was the fun. And feeling good trumps a Mickey bar any day. I knew that if I strayed from plan, I would have side effects that would not have allowed me to enjoy myself as much. And I also learned that with careful planning, you can enjoy time away without feeling panicked or at the mercy of someone else. You do not have to be "terrified" to leave the comfort and safety of home, because you CAN follow the plan outside in the real world. You just have to plan. The Disney chefs were so accommodating to my requests. They would come to my table, I would ask for what I knew I could have (like a plain grilled chicken breast, no seasonings, plain veggies and fruit salad for dessert). Easy peasy, actually. And you know what? I ate very, very well. My friends had steak, I had steak. Without pepper or butter mind you,  but it was steak, and it was goooood. My fruit salads were not only pretty to look at but just what I needed. And in a this-never-happens moment when I got home, I discovered I actually lost almost 2 pounds. While at Disney. On the Deluxe Dining Plan. And it wasn't because I wasn't eating, trust you me. I ate well but I also exercised like crazy (we averaged 7-9 miles of walking a day - and yes, I brought my running shoes and enjoyed a run along Seven Seas Lagoon!)

I know I can leave home and be safe and stay on track. Planning ahead, having snacks at the ready (I always had 3-4 things in my purse at all times - including an apple or orange) - it worked. I have to laugh when I think of the girl 3 months ago who was terrified to go to Disney because they had good food there. It was once a scary prospect but I was ultimately in control and I have never felt more proud. I am getting my life back - my abundant life!

Here's my Disney-fied proof that eating out on vacation can be OK!

Mickey Oatmeal! 

Japanese Hibachi in Epcot's Japan - cooked without my reactive oil! Delish! 

Perfect dessert! 

I did not suffer on this vacation - 3 months ago I was sure I would. The food was excellent and I stayed true to plan, 100%, and was able to find plenty of non-reactive food to enjoy. Key word enjoy. The magic of Disney will no longer be tied to the food I eat. Major, major breakthrough for those who know me well.

I guess I have figured out where my real Happy Place is. It's inside of me. As corny as that may sound, I finally believe that it's true. I have found peace inside of me, peace that comes from knowing that I am being good to myself, and peace that comes from just feeling good. Not walking around in pain, not being irritable to my family, not going to bed bloated and stuffed, not having headaches that would cause me to sleep until 1pm on my days off - all that is behind me, because of the LEAP of faith I took just a few short months ago.

No matter what plan you are following when you're on vacation, there IS a way to stick to it if you are committed to feeling good and you make a plan. I am just so grateful that I found that out! Until next time...